Acknowledgments
Introduction:
First Thoughts About
Slavery
The
titles of master
and slave are bantered
about quite freely
in leather/fetish/kinky
circles. To listen
to conversations
in bars, clubs,
bedrooms, playrooms
and dungeons, one
would get the idea
that slavery is
alive and well among
the devotees of
leather. That's
just not the case...
Chapter
1: Straight Talk:
Explaining Terms
So,
what is SM?
Though
I am going to use
the term "slave"
frequently, I do
so because there
isn't another word
that works. I'm
not really writing
about slavery, I'm
writing about a
situation more aptly
called "voluntary
servitude"...
slavery isn't slavery
because it is consensual.
There are no constraints
that bind Master
and slave except
the ones that they
create.
A
boy is what he wants
to be.
Chapter
5: The Master
Confidence
Makes a Master.
The
confidence a master
has to weld has
to extend further
than the end of
a whip. Certainly,
the admission that
one is a sadist
and has the right
to enjoy sadistic
activity is part
of a master's character.
Sadism, though,
is only one of the
two ways that dominance
is exercised, albeit
a noticeable one.
Marks
of a Master
Who's
Kidding Whom?
Chapter
6: The Slave
So
You Want to Be a
Slave.
Becoming
the slave you want
to be takes a willingness
to change. That
may seem easy enough.
But what we forget
is that the changes
might not be the
kind we want to
embrace...
Chapter
7: Fear and Details
One
day I was approached
by a man in whom
I had no interest.
We had a polite
conversation and
I told him "No"
as gently and friendly
as is possible.
As he walked away,
I reminded myself
that this was my
body and I had every
right to share it
or not share it
as I please. It
was okay for me
to say"No".
Getting
What You Want.
So
What Are You Saying?
A
Time Table for Enthrallment
It
was then that I
realized it was
just as permissible
for someone else
to tell me the same
thing. Whomever
I approach has the
same rights as I
have. When they
exercise that right
its not a statement
about me, but rather
a it's about their
preferences and
their pleasures.
Chapter
8: That First Meeting
The
second requirement
is that you devote
yourself to your
top's pleasure.
I am making an important
assumption here:
that is, you will
enjoy making him
or her feel good.
If pleasuring your
top isn't a pleasurable
experience for you,
then why are you
doing it?
Your
First Scene.
Chapter
9: Humiliation, Paddling,
Chastity, Nudity,
Punishment
Warning:
The Language in
This Section Is
Offense.
My
trusty dictionary
says that to humiliate
is "to lower
the pride or dignity
of; mortify."
Humiliation can
also be called "degradation".
It's certainly a
practice that flies
in the face of empowerment,
encouragement, and
edification. Humiliation
is about as far
from PC as you can
get. It smacks pride
right in the face.
Pick
a Paddle.
Everything
About Chastity Belts.
Thoughts
on Being Naked.
Pain,
too: Punishment
Chapter
10: How To Give Oral-Genital
Pleasure
To
say that cock sucking
and cunt-licking
are an integral
part of sex seems
redundant...
We
will end when his
cock has raised
itself in glorious
orgasm, spewing
its life-force all
over his torso.
His cock will bring
him to what the
French call "le
petit mort,"
the little death,
an incredible moment
when time stands
still and ecstasy
consumes the moment.
Chapter
11: The Deep End
Let's
Dare Talk About
It
Domestic
violence is not
an easy topic to
deal with because
it can bring up
a lot of complicated
emotions in all
of us: pain, shame,
betrayal, guilt,
or fear. But we
need to understand
and recognize the
signs of abuse,
the cycle of abuse
(build-up, confrontation,
and honeymoon),
and know what resources
are available to
us.
Financial
Aspects of Slavery
If
you're negotiating,
ask about budgeting,
saving for the future,
and eliminating
debt. If the slave
won't be working
outside the home,
how will he or she
be supported? Know
what contingencies
there are for emergencies,
for comfort, and
for the future.
Healthy
SM
Chapter
12: Leather Images
and Leather Emotions
The
Image of Leather.
Leather
and Emotions
It's
important that we
not play therapist,
"play Dear
Abby," or play
God. Real psychological
work takes time
and expertise. Short
of those three roles,
though, the play
room presents an
incredible opportunity
to tune into another
person and touch
them- as they touch
you- in very important
intimate ways.
Chapter
13: Ends and Odds
Ending
Slavery
If
you're thinking
slavery is forever,
you are certainly
thinking of an ideal
situation.
My
Lover Wants a Three-Way
Chapter
14: Leather and Love
When
Your Master Comes
For Dinner
What
makes looking for
a full-time slave
so difficult is
that real or ideal
master-slave relationships
are so rare that
you are almost certain
never to have seen
one.
More
About Love
Chapter
15: Doing It For Real
The
Dynamics of Power
and Pain
We
have been socialized
from birth to eschew
power. Society,
of course, has mixed
feelings in that
regard: we honor
the powerful wealthy,
we elect politicians
to power, we obey
the power of our
religious leaders.
At the same time,
most people accept
their own powerlessness.
SM
Travel
The
Best Teacher
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turn
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Personal Book List
Application
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Expectations
and Regulations