Here's
What Others Have to Say about
Becoming a Slave
Master
Skip
Goddess
Lakshimi
Master
Alex Keppeler
Christina
(slavette) Parker
Master
Taino
TammyJo
Eckhart
Lisa
Flagore writing in Frontiers
Magazine
Sealy
(Girl in Voluntary Service)
I
finished "Becoming a Slave"
over the holidays and I want
to tell you how much I enjoyed
it. It's exceptionally insightful,
and having Patrick contribute
a closer to each chapter was
brilliant. In my opinion it's
your best book yet.
Master
Skip
*
* * * *
Jack
Rinella's NEW book "Becoming
a Slave" offers two different
views which make the book exciting
and wonderful, one from being
a Master and one from being
a slave. It gives both The Master
and The Slave a unique opportunity
to see, feel and understand
the other side of the relationship.
An investment in this book will
pay for itself hundreds of times
over as it is a help to all
involved within our Leather
Lifestyle. If you are a Master
you will find the book inspiring
and helpful. If you are a slave
you will find this book particularly
insightful and full of help
to understand the thoughts,
concerns and functions of a
true slave.
Light and Much Love
Goddess Lakshimi
*****
Jack
Rinella tackles this challenging
topic of Becoming a Slave with
his usual careful teaching manner
and straight forward talk, laying
out a clear process to the transformation
that leads to successful voluntary
servitude. This book is a "must
read" for the wannabe slave
as well as the experienced slave
and master.
Master
Alex Keppeler
National Executive Director,
Masters And slaves Together
(MAsT)
*****
"Becoming
a Slave" offers valuable
insights for people taking their
first steps on the path of slavery,
as well as for established slaves
and their masters. This book
is a much needed addition to
the precious few resources available
to slaves who want to live the
reality rather than dream the
fantasy.
Christina
(slavette) Parker, International
slave 2002
*****
In
a well written, step-by-step
guide on how to become a consensual
slave, Jack focuses on the steps
along that lead to the goal.
The reflections provided by
his slave Patrick give clarity
and a complementary perspective.
Jack gives great insight into
the Master / slave relationship,
and provides a guide that could
be useful in not just M/s relationships
but in any human relationship.
Master
Taino, Producer, Master/slave
Conference & Master Taino's
Training Academy
*****
Jack
Rinella is a well-known gay
leatherman with five books,
a weekly column, and at least
one short story to his publishing
credit. Becoming a Slave: The
Theory & Practice of Voluntary
Servitude is his fifth non-fiction
book. A sort of follow-up to
The Compleat Slave, this book
is geared toward helping any
would-be BDSM or leather slave
find his/her way toward consensual
slavery.
If you spend much time online
in the various kinky boards,
lists, or newsgroups you will
soon see that the topic of "the
way to be a slave" arises
time and again. Immediately
there are problems with the
very idea of this one mysterious
"way" to do something
that is uniquely individual.
Contrary to those looking to
make a quick buck or in need
of pumping up their own egos,
there is no "the way"
to do anything.
Rinella is fully aware of this
reality because he has been
a consensual slave and a master
for over a decade and a leatherman
for two decades. Becoming a
Slave isn't "the way,"
but it is a realistic approach
to discovering what a potential
slave is looking for, how to
find it, and how to live it.
Rinella promises to make us
think and to give us real-life
examples of 24/7 realities that
are much more than those fiction
stories we all love to read.
The book has 15 chapters, though
they are not numbered. For this
reason I will not label each
chapter with a number but instead
devote one paragraph to each
chapter. The overarching question
must be: Does Rinella give us
the theory and the practice
his title promises? In short,
will this book help you become
that slave you dream about?
The introduction is a Rinella
classic, focused on explaining
his approach, his language,
and his style of writing. One
suspects that this "teacher"
methodology works well both
in a workshop and over time,
for those who are open to the
idea of becoming slaves as a
process, not as a magical moment.
There is a rampant fantasy that
slaves must adapt to their owners.
Instead the most successful
24/7 relationships are built
just like all human pairings
and families: on a foundation
of shared values and interests.
Rinella lists several complementary
traits for the slave and master
to share, but throughout the
chapter and his book it is clear
that this is a two-way dynamic
with give and take from all
partners.
What makes someone want to become
a consensual slave? There are
many reasons, and Rinella covers
several of them. There is no
one true "call to serve."
Feeling that desire to be a
slave is not the same as becoming
one, because not everyone can
earn your service and obedience.
You have to realize you want
this path first before you can
embark on finding an owner.
The most popular question I've
seen online, at munches, and
at events focuses on finding
the partner who will help you
make your fantasy a reality.
Rinella looks at a few of the
most popular ways to find a
partner. Beyond this he is very
honest about how most of the
attempts will fall flat but
that someone who feels the call
to be a slave must continue
to search honestly and completely.
It won't be one email, one phone
call, or one meeting but a series
of contacts over weeks and months.
So months have gone by, and
now you are owned, right? Wrong.
According to Rinella the most
successful and fulfilling slave-owner
relationships are based on good,
solid negotiation. This process
isn't so much like a business
arrangement as it is a serious
focus on communication and finding
mutually satisfying means to
enact the power dynamics you
wish to pursue. This chapter
is all about negotiating from
the slave position, and it is
a powerful and empowering position
if you are honest about yourself
and your mundane life.
What are you negotiating? In
other words, what type of a
relationship are you willing
and wanting to commit to? Rinella
looks at several stumbling blocks
that numerous slaves he has
known used, primarily unconsciously,
to keep their fantasies at bay.
This chapter is likely to destroy
many of the typical ideas about
what being a slave means and
how these relationships work
out in the modern world. But
if you are serious about becoming
a consensual slave you must
confront these myths and work
with real life.
Have you heard of slave training?
If you've been in the BDSM or
leather world for more than
a few months, you have. Rinella
describes what training is at
a basic level and various approaches
to training. Just as in teaching,
this is a process that must
be actively pursued by everyone
involved. The potential slave
who just kneels there and expects
to soak all the knowledge up
will likely fail quickly.
Slave training is a more specialized
form of training, not because
it has particular universal
protocols and positions, but
because it is learning to serve
and bend your will to the owner.
Throughout this chapter Rinella
emphasizes again and again that
the attitude and the will of
the owner should be paramount
in any training. Claims of "correct"
protocols and "proper"
ways of being a slave are rightfully
pooh-poohed by Rinella.
Punishment, not the excuse-to-do-SM
or feel-less-guilty kind, but
the real you-messed-up-and-there-are-consequences
kind of punishment, is covered
briefly but importantly in the
next chapter. The very concept
of punishment between two consenting
adults is a certain way to get
an argument started in almost
any kinky venue. Again, what
works for Rinella may not work
for you, but his idea that it
shouldn't be pleasant for anyone
and that it should encourage
changes is solid.
The next chapter covers several
topics. These are not "small
stuff" but actually subjects
that again can result in disagreements
or wonderful discussions among
those practicing 24/7. How do
you live this 24/7? What do
you wear? How is it all paid
for? Your fantasies on these
matters are yours, but the mundane
world will affect how you can
live these out, not to mention
the fantasies of your owner.
I was very surprised when the
next chapter was titled "The
Real Slave." To this point,
Rinella has been a big proponent
of 24/7 as a unique relationship.
He isn't claiming a mold that
a potential slave must fill
but instead an attitude that
he has found very common among
those in successful relationships.
The keys are honesty, the desire
and the willingness to bend
to the owner's will, and the
ability to let your slavery
empower you. Does that sound
strange? If you have been in
a successful 24/7 relationship,
I don't think you'll find the
idea of an empowered slave very
odd at all.
Where has the sex been in this
entire book? In the bestselling
novels and short stories it
often seems that consensual
slavery is one non-stop orgasm
for everyone involved. Nice,
but not realistic, and Becoming
a Slave is about making your
slavery real. This chapter looks
at how sex can and cannot be
a part of a 24/7 relationship.
The vignettes from Rinella on
life as a slave as well as the
lives of others is a great way
to picture what he is talking
about in this chapter.
At the heart of consensual slavery
is obedience. Rinella says this
time and time again. Sex can
be a part of it, and the mundane
world must be taken into consideration.
Those things that are traditionally
kinky - SM, bondage, fetishes,
etc. - can all be a part of
24/7 but are not necessarily
always there. Rinella gives
several examples of how kink
can be used to make the owner-slave
dynamic more powerful and rewarding.
So being a slave means you have
to continue to live in the mundane
world and be obedient to your
owner, putting their will above
your own. Normally if you have
taken it slowly, been honest
in your negotiations, and tried
to work within the necessities
of life, you should have a good
relationship. But will it be
monogamous or poly or something
else? It is a very complicated
question, and more often than
not it seems that those seeking
to be slaves or to own slaves
expect monogamy to some degree.
Rinella discusses the types
of sexual arrangements that
are successful, but he does
not endorse any one type of
sexual relationship.
Over and over, Rinella exposes
the reality of 24/7 as a relationship
between individuals. Thus the
final chapter of his book is
a guide to how to keep it healthy
and fulfilling for everyone
involved. Some of these ideas
may seem counter to the fiction
one might jack off to, but by
and large every successful slave-owner
couple or family I've known
follows several of these ideas.
Whether it is a periodic review
of how things are going, having
vacation time from the dynamics,
or maintaining other types of
relationships, every one needs
to be all they can be.
At the end of each chapter there
are two additional features
in Becoming a Slave that make
this book unique and particularly
useful. First, Patrick, who
has been Rinella's slave for
over nine years, offers his
own view on the topics each
chapter covers. While we might
expect him to merely parrot
what his master has written,
we find instead well-thought-out
and experience-supported ideas.
While the close-minded might
think the master's voice more
important, skipping over these
"Reflections" would
be a grave error. You want to
become a slave, right? Who better
to hear about that reality than
from someone who has achieved
this status?
There are also a series of further
activities at the very end of
the chapters which ask the reader
to reflect on the subjects covered.
Most of the exercises are mental
or written, but some ask you
to go out and get involved in
the kink community or do something
to increase your future value.
Doing these and reading this
book slowly are the best way
to get the most from Becoming
a Slave.
I really like this book, the
way it approaches each subject,
the honest and down-to-earth
language and the careful focus
on each word and meaning Rinella
uses. The end-of-chapter activities
are very valuable; I may adopt
some in my own training. Besides
all of Rinella's experience
and writing, what makes this
book most useful are the personal
examples and the reflections
of his own slave, Patrick. These
are two men who have been living
their fantasy for over nine
years. Their life gives hope
to those who want to be in their
shoes.
TammyJo
Eckhart, Author and Book Reviewer
for KinkyBooks.com
*****
“Becoming
a Slave” is a straightforward
account of the step by step
process of doing just that.
Rinella doesn’t often use
stories as illustrative metaphors,
but instead engages the reader
with clear, concise narrative
to exemplify the internal changes
necessary to living a life of
voluntary servitude.
The
irony here is that despite the
fringe subject matter, Rinella
often addresses universal themes
that all relationships must
practice to create harmonic
longevity. He reminds us of
our intrinsic right to “safety,
fulfillment, and happiness,”
and gives sage advice to cope
with fear and doubt.
There
is more to this book, however,
than sage advice on how to conduct
a successful relationship. Lest
the reader forget that slavery
is also an erotic pursuit, Rinella
recounts several of the steamy
experiences of his past (all
for the purposes of instruction,
of course).
Rounding
out “Becoming a Slave”
are the reflections at the end
of each chapter by Rinella’s
slave, Patrick. His insightful
and sensitive addition to this
book provides the perfect counterpoint
to Rinella’s more assertive
style.
The
multi-faceted nature of “Becoming
a Slave” gives the reader
a comprehensive set of tools
to demystify and embrace the
path of slavery. In Rinella’s
own words, “This book is
about change, which leads to
the unknown. Facing the unknown
takes courage, but take heart
as you can change into that
which you seek.”
Lisa
Flagore writing in Frontiers
Magazine
*****
My
Sir and I had a recent long
road trip here in Texas (aren't
they all) and I got to read
to Sir from the book on the
way up and back, and talk about
it. It was and still is a great
experience for us, we are still
working on it. It is well written
and I really hope that people
will take it to heart. We find
that it is full of useful, practical
and commonsense information.
I
am glad that Patrick contributed.
His views are right on target
and it is a pleasure getting
the perspective of another non-cyber
LOL slave.
Good
Luck on the sales. We have passed
on the info to folks in various
groups we belong to. It is a
great book and not to be missed.
Sealy
Gives
(girl in Voluntary Service)
